separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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