From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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