Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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