My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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