I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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