We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
