we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
