I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
