I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
