there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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