Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
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Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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