Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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