how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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