Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
