Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im holly from the hills drunk
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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