we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
