I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
