giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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