If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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