No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Randomize
