you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
