I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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