that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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