I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
