I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
