There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
