he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She even gives head with a lisp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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