I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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