I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
