Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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