WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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