Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
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