me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You have to summon your inner elephant
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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