is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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