You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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