So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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