this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
