I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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