Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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