Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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