Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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