i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
