Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
