look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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