um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
