i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
