So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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