chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
