Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
