i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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