go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize