HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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