im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
