Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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