id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
