tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
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Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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