Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
