Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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