Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
